Innate unhappiness derives from a sense of longing that is in CONSTANT opposition of our desire to be still. There are many places our hearts and minds desire to go to and reach for, yet our body remains stubborn and immovable.
If you find yourself stuck in between “the desire” and “the discipline”, here are some questions to begin asking yourself:
Are you stuck?
The important thing about NOW is that it’s still January. The year has only just begun. The next eleven months are YOURS. Don’t be too hard on yourself if your 2018 goals didn’t begin on January 1st…mine didn’t either. We are all human!!
We are in a constant pursuit of the next best thing, yet stuck in the comfort of today.
If you find yourself stuck, afraid, procrastinating, (or anything along these lines!)…THIS is what is separating you from where you are and where you want to go. Below are some applicable steps I believe can help you overcome these challenges we face every minute of every day:
1. The Dream
I’ve found that if I look at the resolution’s big picture, I become overwhelmed that the accomplishment won’t happen… for some reason, I don’t see where I need to start. I begin to think there is absolutely no way that from where I am currently standing I can get “there”. This type of thinking (for me) ultimately leads to a complete surrender to Netflix, comfort food, and safe places (let’s be real).
I become fasciated seeing the big picture- and then fear overtakes the everyday choices that chisel the path towards the dream…and when there’s no chisel, there’s no path. All of a sudden, year long goals take a complete shift from appearing delightful to utterly daunting.
What are year long goals, anyway?
Modern Americans consider their year long goals to be “resolutions”. While the dreams of resolutions are easy, the disciplines resolutions bring are the difficult part.
I think it is unanimously agreeable that resolutions are all-around overwhelming. Why? They are the result of a wild imagination. However, a wild imagination doesn’t necessarily equal accomplishment. It’s actually a rather basic beginning. We automatically deem resolutions as “unattainable” because we constantly refer to the end goal.
2. The Decision
When the distance between the starting point and the finish line seems too vast, it’s easy to give up. At times, you become so discouraged you can’t get out of bed to face the embarrassment of another day. You have asked the question “why?” so redundantly that it constatnly echos in the back of your mind.
So what’s a person to do when the resolution seems too out of range?
You have to set mini-goals throughout the process to see progress.
The real focus should lie on the every day decisions and choices that chisel the pathway to the finish line.
Setting attainable goals really is the secret to success here. What is something daily, weekly, and monthly that will keep you on track to reaching your resolution? Please write it down so you have a visual. Ask yourself this question, “What did I do today to move towards the finish line?”
3. The Dare
Most often…goals are set, developed, written down, and then…not carried out. Why is this? It’s because many people do not understand how IMPERATIVE accountability is in the scheme of attaining a long-term goal.
Think about it. When it’s just YOU that knows what you need to do daily, weekly, and monthly…how EASY is it to decide to back out? It’s so simple not putting in the hard work when no one is aware of your aspirations. Additionally, when short-term goals are continuously missed, it begins to brew feelings of shame and guilt- of not hitting the target. Of feeling like a failure. Of not being good enough. Of not feeling worth it.
Reaching short-term goals alone are not how long-term resolutions are attained.
A trusted friend, mentor, or coach will not only carry the pleasures of success with you, but also the pains of shame and guilt. Please do not fear the honesty and vulnerability it takes to make the dream and the little diligent decisions along the way happen.
Let’s make 2018 count.
1. The Dream: It’s okay to dream, but don’t let the dream distract you from the daily disciplines it takes in order to reach your resolution.
2. The Decision: YOU have to decide to put in the hard work. Decide for yourself that you are worth whatever it takes.
3. The Dare: I dare you to speak and verbalize your year-long commitments and goals. I dare you to be vulnerable with someone and ask for them to hold you daily, weekly, or monthly accountable in this area.
I would love to hear your year-long goals and pursuits!
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Photo by Anna Claire Beasley